Ann Coulter: the Woman who Learned Nothing from Martha Stewart (or Herself)

What does a bitterly hated, egomaniac, loud-mouthed, close-minded authoress have in common with an American Susie-homemaker business magnate? A felony. If the American government can put away its Betty Crocker of the 21st Century, did Ann Coulter really think it wouldn't catch up with its Anne Boleyn of the same? And as it may be the case, this Ann must have lost her head, as well, long ago...

What High Crimes and Misdemeanors did the sainted columnist commit? One, she insists that "women have no capacity to understand how money is earned... it would be a much better country if women did not...": vote. Now, you may say it is her fundamental right to vote, and bless you, unfortunately, it is. Her crime was not that she voted, but rather where. Allegedly, Coulter voted in the incorrect precinct in a Palm Beach town council election. The offense is punishable up to five years in prison. Beats Martha’s five months; at least Coulter will have all the time she needs to really get things off her chest.

One thing Coulter does have that Martha Stewart did not: President George W. Bush and his Florida re-count lawyer, according to Arianna Huffington’s weblog the Huffington Post. Marcos Jimenez is her man. All attempts to contact Coulter by Florida officials have been ignored, and if she does not respond within the next few weeks, she may be stripped of her right to vote in Florida. A tragic incident that would be.

One really doesn't want to give the infamous pundit more of what she thrives upon: attention and little gasps of liberal horror. But our gasps are not present here; in fact, there is a general... laissez-faire sentiment to this whole debacle. One simply wants to ask oneself, do I really care about her anymore? And shockingly, that may be the only way we can truly rid ourselves of the disease that is America’s fascination with the controversial “Rush Limbaugh in a miniskirt”. The better question is: do we really want to?

After all, America’s obsession with feline brashness surprisingly never grows old…It’s why the good girls to heaven and are never heard from, again, and the Ann Coulters go to… jail… That way, when she gets out – or even, if she goes – we can be sure we’ll get an account of how she ever survived herself…